This post comes as an immediate response to my previous post "Just Because I Wear Makeup, That Doesn't Mean I Don't Like Myself". I received a response to that post that made me realize that some clarification was needed, and though I realize that there was no real harm in this person's response, I still wanted to do this as soon as possible before my words were misinterpreted by anybody else.
So here it goes…
Without going into details about what this particular person said (because I love her dearly, and I know she didn’t mean any harm by it-she simply peaked a realization in me that inspired this post), in a nutshell, she asked if I would please convince one of our friends (let’s call her Mel-because I don’t know any ‘Mels’!) to start wearing makeup. Her reasoning was that she figures Mel agrees with everything I said in my last post, but ‘lives out the opposite’ – and chooses not to wear makeup because she thinks that the real purpose of makeup is to ‘hide’ or cover up what one doesn’t like about herself (so maybe Mel doesn’t actually agree with what I said in my previous post, then…)
She added that part of the reason she is upset that Mel won’t wear makeup is because she feels Mel is ‘missing out’ on something ‘fun, creative, and girly’.
I understand where she is coming from. However, unfortunately my response is No, I will not convince Mel to wear makeup.
See, here’s the thing: in the same way that my wearing makeup does not mean that I don’t like myself, someone choosing to not wear makeup, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like herself, either.
I suppose in a sense it would be a form of ‘reverse discrimination’ (for lack of a better term) for me to place the same judgement on those who don’t wear makeup that others place on me for wearing makeup.
Again, I believe it all goes back to the motive behind it. Like I said, in the past I have worn makeup because I didn’t like myself, and now I wear makeup, not because I do or don’t like myself, but because I like makeup. It’s not the outcome, it’s the motive. In both mindsets the outcome was the same: thick eyeliner and colourful eyeshadow – but the attitudes, motives, & beliefs are very different.
So if someone chooses to not wear makeup because she thinks ‘she isn’t pretty anyways, so why bother’ or because she doesn’t think she’s worth it, that’s one thing; but if someone chooses not to wear makeup simply because she doesn’t like makeup, that’s another thing entirely. Again, the outcomes are the same, but the beliefs/reasoning behind them are different.
And what I said in my last post applies here:
God made me the same as He made you: with unique interests, skills, likes, and dislikes. And so long as I use these interests and likes for purposes that harm no one and is not contradictory to my beliefs & values, there is nothing wrong with that.
My interests include being creative with my makeup. But that doesn’t mean everyone’s interests lie there. God made me to like makeup, but He also made someone else not to. And so even what this girl said about Mel ‘missing out on something fun, creative, & girly’ – that may be how she feels about makeup, but that doesn’t mean it’s ‘fun & creative’ to Mel. I know for a fact that Mel has many other things she finds ‘fun & creative’ that you would have to hold a gun to my head in order to get me to do!
Neither of us is wrong or right – we are just different.
And different is OK. And it is even beautiful.
So if you like makeup for the sake of makeup – by all means, HAVE A BLAST! And if you think makeup is just a bunch of ‘gunk’ that wastes time in the morning, then go without it!
Just check-in on your motives every now and again to make sure you are still making your decisions for you – based on your interests – and not as a way to mold to other people’s interests.