Recently I posted a piece entitled “Change“. In it I shared some things that have been on my heart/mind over the past few months. I hinted at the change that I felt was coming; but left out details because I was still awaiting some direction.
Now I want to talk about growth.
We are ever-changing beings, and with that change comes growth. I am someone who loves to learn. If I could be a perpetual student (and not lose my mind) I would.
Learning is a hobby for me. It’s how I relax, it’s how I reflect, it’s how acquaint with myself and the world around me.
Ultimately, I think this is because I crave growth; I have never been content to stay the same. I want to move, adapt, evolve.
But lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Part of it is all the doctors and decisions I need to make regarding my health. Another part, I think, is because my passions pull me in so many different directions.
I am passionate about mental health and body positivity and healthy at every size. But I am also passionate about makeup. And social media. And the environment. And ethical eating and shopping. And spirituality. And social justice. And Collin Ferrell’s eyebrows (yes, I had to add that).
For so long I squeezed myself into a single mould. I was the girl who wrote on eating disorder recovery because I had an eating disorder. But I am not a single-dimension person. None of us are.
We are all multi-dimensional beings.
We are constantly changing, adapting, growing. And we need to be open to this and allow ourselves freedom to evolve.
I think I’ve been afraid of evolving. Afraid people wouldn’t like it or accept it. Afraid I’d be misunderstood. I’ve created a comfortable uniform with a comfortable following, and I feared any change could lead to my demise. Because ultimately, I want to write because I want to leave a mark, I want to make some noise!
But if a post gets published and no one ever reads it, does it make a sound?
So I stayed in my box where it was comfortable. And when I got restless, I went silent.
Now I think it’s time to begin emerging from that box.
I am still not 100% sure what this is all going to look like. But I think it will begin with a slow merging of things. Libero Network will remain the same and I will continue writing and advocating for it’s message. But things will be changing here, on my blog because I don’t want to divide myself anymore. I want to create a place where all of me shows up: the makeup lover, the social media enthusiast, the environmentalist, and, yes, also the mental health and self-love warrior.
Because all of these things are me.
Five and a half years ago when I made my online introduction I was the girl recovering from an eating disorder and self-hatred. But I have grown since then. I am so much more than that now.
And I’m ready to start sharing that.
I haven’t offered any specifics as to what may be coming around the corner (and over the mountain) in regards to my change and growth. However, I do have some ideas, and I’m sure there are more to be discovered. But here are a few:
- a merging of my Intuitive Eating blog with this main website (and a complete website redesign).
- a re-emerging of my YouTube Channel, with new videos that cover all the dimensions of who I am.
- reviews of books I’ve read, products I’ve tried, and possibly a documentary-review series (psych!)
- some social media-related content such as tips, advice, and [possibly] training material.
- what do you want to see?
3 thoughts on “Growth”
Wow. Just, wow.
I feel like everything you said in this post is me, and exactly the point that I hit earlier this year, and am still working through now. Except my fascination is with Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows instead of Colin’s ;).
But otherwise, this is incredible. I think for people like us it can be hard to figure out how to be in so many directions at once. I know for me, I tried for so long to compartmentalize myself into different sections, but it became so difficult. I needed to be myself as a whole, not as parts, and as soon as I allowed myself to do that, the outcome has been INCREDIBLE.
Tabitha, thank you so much for your comment! It’s good to know I’m not alone. “I tried for so long to compartmentalize myself into different sections, but it became so difficult. I needed to be myself as a whole.” < YES! That's exactly how I've felt. I'm definitely excited to pursue myself as a whole from now on! xLaurenB
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